I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
