dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
