this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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