he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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