I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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