I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
