Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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