Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
