i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
