so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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