so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
When are your genitals available?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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