She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
