i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
