Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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