walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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