It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
