I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
