life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
