1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
