That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
