whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize