I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
