So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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