he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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