I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
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