quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
