my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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