You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
