he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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