where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i think my cat just said my name.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize