I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
