We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
