I'm going to rape someone's good day.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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