I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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