I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
