I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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