...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize