barbara walters just said penis...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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