you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
