they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
