I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
