remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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