Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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