im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
