dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
