it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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