So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
where are my eyebrows?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
