There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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