FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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