My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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