when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
