I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
