Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
