did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
