Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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