Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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