My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize