found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
