oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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