how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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