Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
