I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize