You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
