I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
