The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
