Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
