Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Quick, to the slutcave!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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