i need an iv and a liver transplant
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
