its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
if only i could text you this smell
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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