There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
