U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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