But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
