I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize